Feeling uneasy is not something we enjoy. Not surprising then that people generally try to avoid feeling this way. But that’s a shame because it makes it hard to get the goodies which could be on offer.
If that sounds a little strange let’s look at some practical examples and the payoff that comes with putting that uneasy feeling to work.
“I heard the words but I didn’t believe what s/he was saying”
“It looked like a good deal, but I just didn’t feel comfortable.”
Pretty much everyone I’ve ever asked can identify with these words. What’s happening here is that somehow things don’t add up for us and it makes us uneasy. The first one relates to a personal situation, the second to a professional offer.
It ain’t what you say, it’s the way that you say it
In the first case the words don’t convince. Why not? Almost certainly because, as the song says, “It ain’t what you say, it’s the way that you say it.” A person’s tone and use of physiology will be incredibly important in determining whether what they’re saying is actually credible to you. If words, tone and physiology aren’t all of a piece you will rightly wonder whether what they’re saying is true. This is how you protect yourself from being conned.
Looked good, but didn’t feel right
In the second case it may have looked like a good deal but it didn’t feel right. That means what we see and what we feel are at odds and we can’t reconcile one with the other; we’re picking up different signals in different sensory systems. This is a red flag. This is also a recipe for confusion and loss of trust.
I’ve come to learn that when I’m confused there’s usually a very good reason. Too often people lack the confidence to regard their unease, their confusion or even their distress as something which is trying to tell them something. These feelings are feedback to us from ourselves. Paying attention to them can help us tap into what I call the wisdom within.
Remember, next time you’re feeling this way there’s a very good reason. Being confused, for instance, is not necessarily embarrassing proof of your pathetic inability to understand something; it could be an entirely appropriate response if what someone is saying doesn’t really make sense, hang together or stack up.
I’ve lost count of the number of business clients who have told me some version of “it looked great, I didn’t feel comfortable but as I couldn’t give a reason for saying no I agreed to go ahead.”
More often than not this is followed by them saying how six weeks or six months later the deal went south and they kicked themselves for not trusting their own intuition.
So what to do when you feel uneasy?
- PAY ATTENTION TO THE WISDOM WITHIN
- GET CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT’S TRIGGERING IT
- GATHER MORE INFORMATION
- HAVE THE COURAGE TO TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT
- TAKE ACTION
Easy to say perhaps, but anyone can learn to do this. If you want to learn how to turn this into a skill you can apply in your personal and your professional life check out the NLP Practitioner with Neuroscience programme. This is just one of the practical pay-offs of learning how people tick.
Next week, I want to show you just what can be achieved when you listen to the Wisdom Within.